Tuesday 9 April 2013

Dilemma

I suppose it won't be any big shock to a lot of you that I've ended up here.

You're probably thinking that I've drank myself to it, that I've been on a downward spiral for years and it was only a matter of time. But the truth is, something really bad happened to me.

Something I didn't want to happen and more importantly something I never, in my wildest dreams, ever thought could happen.

I'm not talking life or death and I'm not talking about being dumped.

Well, not in the traditional sense anyway.

I'm talking about being absolutely shaken, everything I've ever believed in being based on a lie and some of the people I trusted most being dishonest.

It's been pretty rough... To say the least. And so last week after a relatively sober last three years and a lot of positive inroads and life changes I find myself prescribed Prozac and referred for counselling by my doctor.

Why oh why would it come to this ?

The truth is, I don't feel like me anymore. My mind is warped and a prison, not an asset.

I'm frightened. Really frightened. Because suddenly I really don't know what's waiting for me. The future is bleak, a wasteland of decaying baggage that has trapped me.

And now I'm suffocated.

Help....